Lauren
Monday 12th May
Goodbye Evelyn. It was incredible being you.
Open the cage and let us Fly..Thursday 8th May. Opening Night
Wow that was fun! hahaha! Sometimes I forget what it’s all for, and what it’s all about…then you perform to an audience and all the sweat and tears seems so worth it, and I again know for sure this is why I do what I do.. “Everybody knows what they want, it’s what they think they really can do that they don’t know” If I was doing anything else with my life I would never know what I really could do. We told the story tonight so well, simply because we’d been dying to have someone to tell it to! The way I look a Eva as soon as I’m in the space is a sensation I have never experienced before. I love her so much, in such a new way. When I am warming up I always see Evelyn in front of me, like I’m trying to catch her, and then I walk on stage and it’s like she stops suddenly and I step into her. That’s the only way I can describe the feeling. She has come so far, and I’m proud of her. Now I need sleep…Goodnight Bloggy Blog
Tuesday 6th May, Rehearsal with Kate
Many thoughts were, and still are, buzzing through my mind after working one on one with Kate this morning. Firstly, a positive note - I have rarely before felt so well supported and heard my voice easily reach a loud volume like it did by the end of the short workshop today.
Three techniques to focus on and practice:
- Breathing into my back - this idea helped immensely as I forgot about my stomach and found breath capacity and support in my back, whioch allowed a boomer of a voice to release.
- Opera singing the text - Singing the text released my voice and whenever I felt my sound channel start to tense or quaver I broke into song, and immediately found open power again. This exercise also refreshed the quality of the lines.
- Gradual increase of volume (stopping when tension sneaks in) - The idea of thiis exercise was to train my muscles to allow enough breath support, depending upon how loud and intense I needed to be. Whenever I felt my throat tighten I stopped and did some yawns and sirens, this acknoledgement of tension and quick fix soon lessened the amount of muscle tension at hightened volume levels.
The best way I can describe how I am beginning to feel with Evelyn is less self-conscious. She is a powerful woman who will be as loud as she wants to and as deep-toned as she needs to be. The actor of Lauren isn’t coming into her as much anymore and she is gaining more confidence - something I gained especially from this morning. I understand that for adequate breath support to become one of my skills I must work until it is automatic. I now have a new approach, which has shifted my focus from my stomach to my back, and in just one hour today I noticed a leap forward in how supported I feel. I accept that I am not the best I can be, nor up to the level I want for myself, but I can always get there, I can always improve….But maybe that is the wrong way to see it. Maybe I should say, that right now I am the best I can be, but I can always improve…this is difficult for me to work out lol. I am trying to chnage my thoughts to create confidence and positivity to push me higher and further, when I have always used self-dissatisfaction to motivate me…it’s hard to get rid of the little “voice” (quote Kate) that tells me it’s not good enough. But I am determined, I am a determined woman! lol maybe Evelyn IS starting to have an effect on me 
Monday 5 May
Hi Lauren. Thought I’d try another way to comment, so at least it’s in sync. I think one of the more valuable skills things you’ve learned in this project is the importance of good breath support. It’s going to be a challenge for you to develop as part of your acting tool-box across the next year and a half. You have a lovely, resonant voice in your daily usage but tension drives the pitch up a little when you are anxious, and you are feeling this also in muscular tension affecting the breathing channel. Confidence and performance experience as well as technical mastery can overcome these matters as if by magic. It’s just a question of accepting where you are, not beating yourself up over it and working day by day to improve. You will … trust the work.
Kate
Sunday 4th May, I will conquer her! Voice, tempo and all!!
Firstly, a reflection on my reflections, I think I need to stop doing them so late at night when I am so delirious with tiredness, but it’s when all my thoughts for the day are racing through my head. So here goes another thought vomit about my process. In the way of increasing tempo I have been experimenting with such things as speeding up her thoughts by speeding up her physicality - but only in small figity ways - I don’t want to lose that calm, proud suppressed atmosphere she has. I have been struggling however with the fact that although the thoughts are sped up, they are still disconnected, and I am finding it hard to break the rythm. As another attempt to lose the rythm I asked Adele, who has a natural rythm very different to my own, to read some of my lines. Hearing how she read the lines helped a great deal, not as something for me to imitate, but just to introduce a fresh rythm to my ear. As a result, she was at a better tempo today, and wih more work she’ll get even better. But tempo isn’t my only challenge, there is also my old friend, breath capacity and tension in my throat and stomach. Breathing has been number one challenge for me since day uno and I work on it harder than any other training aspect. The amount of strength I need for Evelyn relies on my breath, especially in the trial scene. Although a challenge, I have been noticing improvement. Occasionally within my crazed rant one breath will suddenly drop into where it is suppose to and all of a sudden a booming voice will escape and surprise me - “wow I didn’t even squeeze that one!” I will keep experimenting with the lines on my back, and also try singing them - an exercise Kate explained to me today to open my throat and release my breath. As general volume goes, in my head I sound really loud, but apparently not in the audience, but I know I can speak clearer and with more volume so now it’s just about adjusting it perfectly to the space. Another goal for me is to fix my spacing with Eva in our scene - which I know I can fix, I just get caught in the moment occasionally and forget my staging :P. Overall, the play has come together incredibly, I am proud to be a part of the cast, and I havn’t felt like that in a long time. Looking forward to working with Kate on Evelyn a bit…she’s nearly there, I can feel it.
Friday 2nd May, The prod week.
Although technical runs can be more painful than watching golf with your pop who has taped 6 hours of it, so just when you think one game is finally over they return to highlights… anyway…I saw this time as a chance to cement in my own cues and those of the entire cast, as well as the stucture of the performance. In many ways prod week has proved vital, especially with regards to getting to know the space, and just how high you can step up in heels and a pencil skirt. Being focused on stage for such an amount of time also allowed me to explore Evelyn within the space, placing my images around the set and looking at the people of Eldritch through her eyes.
Some tech elements I really enjoy to, like ‘finding the light’, that feeling of stepping, searching, and then bam! you feel the heat on your face and the light in your eyes and you know that everyone in those seats in front of you is looking at you. I am also looking forward to getting into pre-performance routine. I have experimented and found some ideal ways to warm-up, not only physically, but mentally for Evelyn. A big discovery hit me in the face the other day when I was working and warming up in room 8; I looked at myself in the mirror and said “State your name” and replied without really thinking: “Miss Evelyn Jackson”. Miss!! not Mrs! a woman of her age, with a 14year old child and she stands tall and is a Miss. What a horrible reminder of her heartache.
Things still to work on: Full physicality, connection to honest emotion in trial scene and hatred for Cora, practising putting jacket on Eva, experimenting with faster pace and General breath support and volume for big court scenes.
Tuesday 29th April A new day, and felt like a new cast
I didn’t blog last night and I’m glad I didn’t. I had so many thoughts, feelings, mostly bad but with hope in there, that needed time to mull overnight. Instead I put the time inot writing out all my cues and fixing as much as I possibly could in one night. And today it seemed like everyonre had done the same. I have never walked into the rehearsal room and seen absolutely everyone focused so hard on working scenes, their own characters, and warming up. I felt like I was in a real cast. This great energy continued into act one. Minus a few small hicups, the run was so far above yesterdays. And personally my scene with Eva was one of the best we had ever done. More and more Evelyn is dropping in, yet she still doesn’t stay for long enough yet, YET! I shall work her to the bone til she stays in me.
I was hoping act two would go just as well, and it did on the whole, but for me personally, my stomach had other ideas. I had to eat dinner otherwise I would have passed out, but dinner was just the thing that caused me to nearly pass out. Unfortunately my energy and connectiom to character dropped quickly as much as I tried to hold it in (pun!). I was excited about the note to let her go and really fly off the handle at Cora cos I have so much more in me to express, and I can’t wait.
On important aspect I am still searching for is the right kind of character warm-up for her. I have tried many different things, yet I am still searching. Tomorrow I will try to do a totally private warm-up and see how that goes. Im excited again, and motivated so strongly…and need sleep, so goodnight blog, and Kate and Bernadette
Fri. 25th April. Dear Blog
Time is going quickly and production week begins in a few days. Today’s rehearsal was intense and very emotionally exhausting. But I feel I benefitted from it greatly, in relation to character and relationship to Eva especially. I feel Evelyn inside me when I drop into her - she has, in a sense, becoming automatic. More than anything I have discovered how to listen to the characters and scene around me, and also the play as a whole. Listening to the act today as Evelyn I felt every moment more strongly than ever before. And wow, the epileptic episode, and that entire court scene has become so much more intense and painful for me as the character. Today I had trouble keeping control of myself at some points, not stimulated so much by Evelyn’s grief and pain, but more by Eva and her ordeal. My daughter’s pain seemed to affect me greater than my own…and I think that might just be a taste of what it’s like to be a mother.
I had a very interesting talk with my own mum the other night and one statement has really stuck in my head: “You have so much control over your children for such a long time, thinking that their lives are just a smaller version of yours. Then all of a sudden you wake up one morning and you don’t know who this person is, and you have no control over their lives anymore, as much as you want it.”
I worked really hard on the relationships with other characters, especially Eva, over the past week, and today it felt like everything clicked into place. Even my how I react physically towards Eva has become much more natural. Instead of an awkward hug, I actually know and want to hold my child. But don’t get me wrong Evelyn may be protective but she is not soft nor overly affectionate. In the freeze frames formed around the rostra - representing times at home - Eva and I never look to each other, she is either facing away or I’m looking over her. Evelyn’s love is great but it is firm.
Now that I have reached the collapsing point of Evelyn in the trial scene I need to supress some of that emotion and build it up with a little more strength. It was quite an incredible sensation today. Although I was composed (just) my heart and stomach has never beat or churned so fast. I was disapointed I messed up on a few lines in the stop-start run, which is another important goal for this week, because I should be able to switch back and forth between scenes and know exactly where I am straight away. The handouts have been very helpful - introducing me to some new ways of learning lines. As far as my dialect is concerned I am hoping on stage it is fine, because that is when I am not focusing on it at all. I have listened to myself as a recording, but an emotional scene in the space is very different to speaking a scene into a microphone, sitting at a desk.
I have so many scenes played out in my head, and images of Evelyn and her life that I have begun writing down or drawing. Images such as tucking Eva into bed and kissing her on the forehead, and then lingering a moment to watch her drift off to sleep. Praying by her bed. Thoughts of John - her long lost love (Eva’s father), thoughts which she pushes away very quickly. Standing on the front porch staring at the sunrise after another sleepless night. Anyway, most importantly, I feel her there and am hoping what I feel is being conveyed out to my audience and other scene partners.
I have to apologise to anyone else who reads this, for the terrible structure, spelling, and vocabulary used in this entry. I am so tired but didn’t want to go to bed until I had at least vomited out all my thoughts onto a blog. Goodnight
10. Fri. 18th April. Script is abandoned for first entire run
Today was the first run of Act one and two together, and wow my feet hurt from standing in centre. It was very exhausting maintaining strong focus, not only focus as an actor and character focus, but the focus of knowing exactly what was happening on stage and what was next. Because of Rimer’s non-linear structure, scenes are injected everywhere, and for the first time watching the space instead of reading stage directions, it felt like an entirely different play. More than verbatim I struggled with the timewarp of jumping forward in time and back. But gosh it’s so much more interesting than a story that’s linear from beginning to end.
Most of all, taking my script away, meant I actually saw peoples eyes and connected with the character rather than just my text. This experience bawked me so much, because all of a sudden they were real, not just lines filling the gaps between mine, and I need to discover that relationship with other characters. Especially with Eva, who all of a sudden became my daughter that I was to mother. And in our first scene together I felt like a scared first mum who had no idea how to handle her child. In times of heightened emotions and tense situations I sunk very easily in Evelyn’s fiercly protecive side, but without that I was lost. I need to do many more rehearsals one on one with Eva and also Wilma and Martha, as these are the ones closest to me, yet at the moment they feel like strangers.
In terms of Dialect I feel very comfortable with GA. The work I did has definately paid off - drilling words, immitating, and practising whenever- meaning the mouth positions and sound is becoming automatic.
With technicalities aside my focus for the weekend is character work - physical elements, and especially how she feels towards other’s. I want to observe a few more Mother and Daughter relationships to. Much work ahead…
9. Thurs. 17th April. Still discovering more Of course you could spend a lifetime pulling this play to pieces and reading it from every which way. But I am still finding details each time I read the play, details that I can’t believe I missed before, or my mind simply didn’t retain. Over the last few days I have been concentrating a lot more on the text itself, going through and re-beating thought changes which have changed since I first put pencil to my script. I am now working on connecting the thoughts and her overall arch. I have found by uncovering all the clues in the text her image, personality and even physicality is a lot clearer in my mind. She’s starting to feel very natural and comfortable to slip into…God I hope I’m not like her if and when I become a mother 
! I can’t find Sam’s email. But I wanted to add a costume piece to Evelyn - a shawl. Not a tattered one that an old lady would where, but something to cover her shoulders. Her colour, from the moment I knew who Evelyn was, was yellow - pale yellow. I also learnt the hymns today and have started singing them as Evelyn would, her way of trying to get closer to God. Oh and I also watched the Andrew Denton - ‘God on my side’ and it was incredibly interesting.
Something else I have been experiencing is a much stronger bond with Eva. When I am with her on stage all I want to do is hold her close and keep her safe. And when she is away from me in other scenes, even though I am fully in character on stage, I feel so drawn to her, that I want to be able to enter the scene and protect her - especiallly when Robert is hurting her, and I can hear and see it, it rips my heart out, and I experience an awful feeling of helplessness.
That’s all I’ll say for the moment, I want to work the text more, so that maybe tomorrow I can put my script down and go for it completely naked…in a manner of speaking.
8. Oh Actions I forget the acting is about actions lol. I see the actions of the character inside me but have trouble physicalising them. but keep on truckin’, because I know that if I do enough work they happen by themselves, without me even realising…there will be more entries on actions, hopefully positive.
7. Dialect I have found the questions in the Dialect handbook to be really helpful as I’ve been exploring Evelyn. It shows me factors that hadn’t yet crossed my mind - like politics for example. I have started researching the time period and who was president etc, and also working though Evelyn’s attitudes to many things. What I’m most interested in is how these subtle elements are shaping her dialect. and I can say FATIGUED!! 
6. Back from Sydney Although I was in Sydney for the week seeing my brother I could never stop thinking about Evelyn. She’s become a permanent resident in my mind. The best part of discovering a role in a place like Sydney is the thousands of different, very different, people surrounding you each day. Everywhere I went I just watched people, especially women who caught my eye as potential character stimulus. For example I was shopping next to a very upper class bondi snob in myer and from her I took away this stern, tight mouth. Applying this to Evelyn really changed the harshness of her tone and also the speed and stress of lines. She has changed so much, well I feel she has. Her presence is much more harsh and bitter, rather than sad. I feel her pain is so deep that when it erupts in the story it erupts as anger, a bitter hurtful fury… There is so much I could say, I discover something new everyday. It has been annoying being away from a computer this week but I have lots of notes to journal…
One quieter afternoon I was in a very internal mood and decided to read more of Evelyn’s lines and then go through some imaging. This imaging experience was incredibly draining and emotional. All her circumstances and the history of her love that left her pregnant with Eva, Eva’s situation, etc all cullminated into a mash of sorrow, then fear, then anger and wow, that day I think i understood Evelyn’s pain a lot more…. Oh wait I havn’t explained about the man!!: Evelyn’s Skelaton
Eva’s father was a miner, one of the many workers that lived in Eldritch in a time when the town flourished. Evelyn, young, single and once very pretty had a very intense love affair with a worker from the mine, I gave him the name John. This love affair ended painfully when the mines gave out and John moved on, leaving Evelyn pregnant with baby Eva. Evelyn pushed the thought of John so far away that she almost believes herself when she tells Eva that God gave her to Evelyn’s as a gift. A lie that she tells to kill the pain inside and make sense of Eva’s purpose as a crippled child - A blessed child of God.
Anyway, after a very bad emotional character meditation session I just brought myself out of it with some more soul searching into the things that once made her smile. She has such a past that is slowly being shaped.
5. Listen to your heart I am always searching for an insight into myself as an actor, a way to wholly connect to my centre and what is within…and voice class today gave me a great gift. We were focusing upon the rhythm of the iambic pentametre within our sonnets when Bernadette told us to stop, after exploring the rhythm in movement, close our eyes and put our hands on our hearts, and feel the rhythm of our bodies. I realised then this vital organ was a huge part of me; a part of me that I have always neglected to think about, a part of me directly affected by emotion, character, and a whole lot of other stimulus. As I stood there feeling my heart I fell into a trance of the beat and I have never felt so connected with how my body was feeling. This is my rhythm! My beat that keeps my body alive, an unfailing movement, reacting to everything I think, do, feel, breathe, and become! And I have never thought of a character’s heartbeat in any situation. I feel like I discovered a brilliant sense that I can use to connect with character, emotion, and circumstance - simply listening to the heart of the character and my own. The pace and strength of the beat provides a totally untainted insight. It is difficult to explain in words the sensation and connection I felt with my body, but I just had to journal it…now I have a very new question for myself…what is Evelyn’s heartbeat like, and how does it change from moment to moment???
4. Finding God At 5am this morning I was being “saved” by the ‘Hour of Power’ on channel 7, followed by ‘Mass for you at home’. Although I mock these very early morning religious programs I do have a great respect for religion. My new journey into the world of christianity has given me a definate increased insight into my new little friend Evelyn Jackson. The main question which I am in search of an answer for is…What is it like to trust wholly in God? That he has created everything in your life for a reason, when sometimes your life seems so imperfect? Evelyn has no explanation for why her daughter suffers so, other than that God designed her that way for a reason, that she is in this town for a reason of his… She turns to God for answers all the time, but towards the end of the play the tragic events test her faith too far, and she believes God has forsaken her and her daughter… Faith and service to God and the savior Jesus Christ is an integral part of her life, a part I don’t yet understand. I don’t have to fully convert to a believer myself, but my mind needs to be open enough to let the idea of full faith in, to comprehend what it is to believe everything I see was created by one mighty God…In all, to completely allow myself into her mind I need to release my scepticism and, well, find God.
3. I have been confused over the last couple of days with the personal blogging because there is so many ways to get to the writing page, and each time I think I have done it differently. This combined with a different computer and I’ve just had mind blanks. So I’ve gone into “editing” my page which is what I think I have to do. I wanted to add this post to my page so that I had it here for my own reference.
At 8:30 this morning I stepped into Laidley Baptist church in aim of stepping a little closer into the life of Evelyn Jackson. This was not only the first time I had ever been to a Baptist church, but the first time I had been to any church, so I was quite nervous. I was introduced to an old couple at the door and talked with them a while, creating my baptist story as I spoke, an they immediately paired me up with a girl about 17 and told me to sit with her through the service. A guess where she took me; right to the front and centre of the filled little church. This seating, however awkward, was fate because seated right in front of me was the epitome of Mrs Evelyn Jackson. I watched her in her pink floral dress, rosy-shaded makeup and short, neat hair, for the rest of the service and noted some extremely interesting behaviors. She seemed to be very regular, with almost a certain position of social status within the church group. She held her hands clasped the whole time and nodded or shook her head in reaction to the peacher. With tight but soft lips i watched her turn and speak to her sons. Her energy seemed very sustained but with a fair amount of effort, and very internal.
The reverend had invited everyone back to his place for morning tea after the service and I so wanted to follow her there but I backed out as church concluded because too many people were asking me so many questions about myself, my religion, and why they had never seen me before. Being new in the church felt very intimidating and I didn’t think I could have lasted another few hours being interrogated while sipping tea and eating biscuits. Everyone was extremely nice, some genuine, but some felt very put-on, and they were so keen to welcome me, but not to let me go without first being assurred of exactly who I was, where I came from and what I was about…of corse i never told them the full truth about why I was there. As far as they know I am in town for the weekend and was glad to have found a Baptist church for a service on Good Friday.
Above all the whole experience of being sitting there on that hard wooden pew, listening to the reverend preach about Jesus being our saviour and how much we must praise him, and singing hymns, was truly eye-opening. So many things can be considered a sin, and I notcied most of these in the passing comments of the reverend. One that stuck in my mind was when the subject of lottery tickets arose and he said “Not that we baptists would ever dabble in such a thing”. Things I never even saw as wrong, or a bad trait, are considered so sinful and offensive by many people…and this is only a Laidley church, multiply the strength of their beliefs but about 10 and we may begin to scratch the surface of what Elditch is like.
1.I am so incredibly intrigued with The Rimers of Eldritch and could spend hours and hours exhausting my brain with picking it apart and discovering alternate meanings and subtext. This is why I have particularly enjoyed the collaborative process we have begun undergoing. I find, through bouncing ideas off other people and being open to new interpretations, I can delve so much deeper and understand the scene with a greater clarity. Even if I do not fully agree with someone elses interpretation, this allows me to decide clearly on my choices for the character.
A really huge personal fault of mine is that I struggle imensely with the smallest decisions everyday, yet when it comes to character choices somehow I can always make their decisions so very clearly and with no hesitation to get it wrong. This was a little epiphany I had today. I think it is because I place no judgement upon characters because I am creating them and I can take risks with them because they are not me… wow I’m way to tired to be making any sense and I think it is starting to show. So until another time…adieu
2. I don’t have a whole lot to blog about tonight. I have been struggling with some serious self doubt creeping in as to whether I can pull off the character I want…let alone choose which character I do want…again another problem with my making of decisions. That’s why I like to leave alot of choices up to fate or other people. But I know I need to start trusting my own mind…but anyway self doubt is something that creeps in all the time and then decides to fade away. I think I need to stop thinking and questioning everything I do so much…I just feel so um…ordinary some times, so average. And when I think of that I always think of the quote I wrote once in a monologue a few years ago when this girl said “I’d rather be dead, rather be anything than ordinary.” Yes it’s a little extreme, but I hate the feeling of being stuck…I want to be GREAT! that’s what I want. Not to “be” recognised as great, but to recognise myself or something I did as GREAT. I am so excited yet so nervous about this play because I have such high hopes for it… and high hopes for all the characters in it. This is all a bit selfish so I think i’ll just stop there. May regret writing this blog, but it’s good write it in words…Looking for a better day and tomorrow is a new one..
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Hello Lauren Elle Stuart!
Mmmm. Don’t you love what the creative process can do for our thinking? glad you had an epiphany. ain’t life grand!
Now if I post here will it go on mine…
HI Lauren
how’re you going with the posting? Worked it out yet?
If you want to post on the main page then just go ahead and write a new post. If you want to write on your own page, then go to Manage, then Pages, and add to your page which you started above. If you ‘Write’ to your own page, you add a comment, (as in 3 above). Get it?
Hi Lauren
no problem! Nice to date though. Helps you and your reader track back with certainty
HI Lauren
nice to catch up and have a ‘chat’ with you about process. Your work is coming along really well. Now don’t beaut yourself up on the floor if you fluff lines or things don’t go as well as you’d hoped. This is what rehearsing is about … trying out, seeing what works and refining. All part of the process. Like learning how to stand for an hour and not lose focus! Your GA is good by the way. It’s embedded now so let it be! If you get the odd note from time to time re this, just factor it in to the drilling process. It’s what I had to do recently with Cabaret. There was one vowel sound that kept getting in my way … and I had to remind myself every performance of this … that and some drilling, literally saying the phrase over and over and over.
Final Reflection and Discussion
Rimers of Eldritch Project 2008
Lauren Stuart
Workshops:
(i) Discuss the most valuable thing you have discovered about acting by participating in the workshop series.
In reflection it is difficult to select one aspect which I learned that was far more valuable than the rest. Reviewing my blogs and the growth the workshops provided has shown me that the most valued experience has been one involving personal process, particularly with relation to characterization. I have learnt that a character can begin and form from your imagination just as strongly as it can from personal experience or knowledge. I have always looked for the similarities between myself and a character and Evelyn showed me that what I need to focus on is the differences. Evelyn was created entirely from my imagination, whereas other characters have been an imitation or a version of me. Much of this characterization was also born from the voice – an element I rarely address until the final touches. Essentially the Rimers experience has developed my personal character process, shaping to my needs. New methods such as attending the Baptist church and immersing myself in her world seemed to create her subconsciously bit by bit – “At 8:30 this morning I stepped into Laidley Baptist church in aim of stepping a little closer into the life of Evelyn Jackson. This was not only the first time I had ever been to a Baptist church, but the first time I had been to any church.”
“She held her hands clasped the whole time and nodded or shook her head in reaction to the preacher. With tight but soft lips I watched her turn and speak to her sons. Her energy seemed very sustained but with a fair amount of effort, and very internal.” Although this woman shaped certain physical elements of Evelyn, the rest came slowly over time.
There are so many elements I could discuss here, and I recognize that ‘growth of personal acting process’, is a broad factor to highlight, and within the topic lies such things as learning to trust my decisions, recognizing my own tempo and consciously adapting it to the character, BREATH SUPPORT, etc. But I can’t spend all my time on this section, so moving on.
Rehearsal
(i) Describe how you applied Stanislavski’s approach to acting throughout the rehearsal period.
The Stanislavski approach was incorporated significantly throughout the rehearsal period, both as a company and personally, for I understand the process and I feel it is a launching pad. Various approaches/methods included:
• immersing myself within the Church/religious culture and using the magic ‘if’
• Imaging the text, the situations and her life.
• visiting country towns
• conducting research into the area and era
• Technical text analysis/scoring – beats, thought changes, etc.
• Analysing the text intellectually – Given circumstances, throughline, objectives etc – “could spend hours and hours exhausting my brain with picking it apart and discovering alternate meanings and subtext.”
• Recognizing the importance of listening and observing my scene partners and working on relationships - 18th April: “I need to do many more rehearsals one on one with Eva and also Wilma and Martha, as these are the ones closest to me, yet at the moment they feel like strangers.”
25th April: “I worked really hard on the relationships with other characters, especially Eva, over the past week, and today it felt like everything clicked into place. Even my how I react physically towards Eva has become much more natural.”
“My daughter’s pain seemed to affect me greater than my own…and I think that might just be a taste of what it’s like to be a mother.”
• Expressing emotion and psychological state through physical action – after all, it doesn’t matter how much is going on internally, it’s only the external the audience sees – a valued lesson I am discovering more about with every experience.
• Constructing a past for Evelyn, a complete back story. This I found was so vital to understanding everything – character, situation, relationships.
• Adapting personal tempo rhythms and external physicality + voice (as discussed above)
• Endowing my hands and gloves, and even Eva with my emotional quality
• Finally trusting the work and letting it all come together - Fri, 25th April: I feel Evelyn inside me when I drop into her - she has, in a sense, becoming automatic. More than anything I have discovered how to listen to the characters and scene around me, and also the play as a whole. Listening to the act today as Evelyn I felt every moment more strongly than ever before.
(ii) Explain what you know about using your voice and body in a theatre space like the Arts Theatre.
Similar to any theatre the prime objective of being heard does not always coexist with realism. However, with a few adjustments and clear resonation the believability of a performance can be just as strong and the audience can hear it! The structure of the Arts Theatre demands heads to be raised to the back chairs, for lighting sake as well as clarity. The space has good sound quality if used correctly by the entire cast. If the whole cast raises their volume then the quieter scenes will contrast well, maintaining believability. Back acting must be counted by a slower, clearer and louder voice as the audience cannot see the words being formed and must rely fully on audibility. A short workshop with Kate one morning provided me with a great insight into what I personally had to adjust in order to be heard over the singing congregation. The problem lay within pitch – increasing to get louder and breath support. By working a range of exercises both problems were solved by performance day. 6th May: “I understand that for adequate breath support to become one of my skills I must work until it is automatic. I now have a new approach, which has shifted my focus from my stomach to my back, and in just one hour today I noticed a leap forward in how supported I feel.”
Such aspects that I learnt that day will continue to improve as I work them – i.e. Breath support in my back.
Production Week
(i) Discuss what is required of actors during production week.
Patience and Focus. Many other aspects are important which apply to any other day, such as, punctuality, readiness to work, lines down, cues down, etc. But above all patience and focus are two requirements that go hand-in-hand. Technical rehearsals are an imperative part of the process and although the play at that time may feel mechanical and inorganic all the elements must come together. Actors must be focused always to be on cues for lighting and sound as well as ensuring the overall atmosphere of the play is being constructed before the directors’ eyes.
(ii) How can actors use Production Week to consolidate their performance?
The greatest benefit of prod week is the opportunity it provides for actors to get to know the performance space, the workings of the theatre and also cement their cues in. Prod week was largely beneficial for drilling and fully understanding the journey and structure of the play as a whole. 2nd May: “I saw this time as a chance to cement in my own cues and those of the entire cast, as well as the structure of the performance. In many ways prod week has proved vital, especially with regards to getting to know the space, and just how high you can step up in heels and a pencil skirt. Being focused on stage for such an amount of time also allowed me to explore Evelyn within the space, placing my images around the set and looking at the people of Eldritch through her eyes.”
“Some tech elements I really enjoy to, like ‘finding the light’, that feeling of stepping, searching, and then bam! You feel the heat on your face and the light in your eyes and you know that everyone in those seats in front of you is looking at you.”
(iii) Discuss your approach to taking and using the directors’ notes.
I personally understood, if not expected many of the notes I received, if not I made sure I asked questions until I did understand. I learnt not to be defensive about getting notes, take everything on board, and not to stress if no notes were given. Some technical notes were easily fixed, character ones would require mulling and sleeping on and then incorporating either change or refreshing experimentation into my next rehearsals.
Performance Season
(i) Discuss your ability to trust your rehearsal process in performance.
Initially, my ability to trust myself and my work was very difficult and limited. For quite a while I was stuck in the mind set that “I always have to do more work!” Working with Kate that morning made me realize that as long as I keep beating myself up I’m never going to improve, especially not for myself. 6th May: “I am trying to change my thoughts to create confidence and positivity to push me higher and further, when I have always used self-dissatisfaction to motivate me…it’s hard to get rid of the little “voice” (quote Kate) that tells me it’s not good enough. But I am determined, I am a determined woman! lol maybe Evelyn IS starting to have an effect on me”
By the time I stepped onto that stage on Thursday night all thought of process had gone and it was just there, bubbling inside me. I couldn’t do anything more, and I knew she was ready.
8th May: “She has come so far, and I’m proud of her.”
(ii) If you were to start this project over again knowing what you do now, what you will do differently? In other words, clarify how you will approach the next production project on which you are engaged as an actor.
Firstly, I would utilize some new ways to learn lines and have that as my combined focus with research, as my first priority – once lines are down then the exploration happens. I will also address the vocal quality of my character a lot earlier in the process, as Rimers showed me just how much voice can transform a character. I will trust myself and my decisions more, hopefully decreasing self doubt and increasing creative confidence. In the future I intend to analyze relationships and continue to discover the wonderful, selfless art of ‘listening’ to my scene partner. Otherwise, there is not much else I would change about my process or how I, personally, conducted my acting. As a company, which I recognize I am a part of, we have a lot to learn about working together, listening to one another and general team work ethic. That is the most significant aspect I wish I could change, but we need to want to change it as a group. One person can only make a certain impact. The one element I will aim to improve with regards to this issue is communication – honest, constructive (not destructive) communication.